My 9-year-old son had his first experience with theft. He came home very troubled the other day and as usual he wouldn't tell us what had happened. Fortunately I found out through the Mom Connection, my sons' best friends' mom. (Never underestimate this powerful connection.) After asking her son, she said that at the end of the day a Lego piece that Adam cherished was missing from his desk.
When I approached Adam about it he said that someone has been "ransacking" (to put it in his terms) some of the students desks. Apparently this was the second time he found his things a mess. The first time it happened, he found his Lego in pieces on the floor. Adam also said it had happened to another classmate, as well.
I know there's a lesson in this for him. The obvious one is not to bring things you treasure to school and if you do, lock them up after show & tell. It's a shot of reality to learn that not everyone can be trusted, that your happiness can make others jealous. What ever it is, it has affected him deeply and it will take some time for him to get over it. It's not about loosing a toy. It's about the rude awakening to the fact that things like this can happen and unfortunately even worst things sometimes do.
While discussing this with my husband, I went on about how whenever we've seen something left behind, I've taught my sons to leave it exactly where it is, in the hope that the person would come back for it. Then my husband said, "Well what about the time Benjamin, my younger son, found $50 on the floor of a busy movie theater". I was taken aback when he mentioned this. It was like a smack in the face. I've always considered myself a good person. I remember looking around to see if anyone was fumbling through his or her wallet, but there was no indication that any one around us had lost anything. So we kept it.
The though that I may have done something wrong upset me. Looking for some justification, I remembered the other day, while mall walking, two women stopped me and asked if I had just dropped some money. I looked and said no. They coyishly said, "Well, we tried" and with an uncomfortable but lucky smile on their faces pocketed the money. What should one do in that situation? Is it acceptable not to take something that someone left behind and OK to take it when the leave behind is money? I would like to know. Send me your thoughts!
By the way, after emailing Adams' teacher, and having given the students a good talking to, the Lego piece was anonymously returned!
2 comments:
Love it, Ivette! This is so clear and so wonderful to hear your "voice." I like the integration of your life into your professional presence. Way to go!
Well, Ivette my sister. It is different when someone ransacks someone else's stuff and steals it then when one finds something. The right thing to do is look around and see if anyone is looking for it and in my case, I left my number and name and asked if anyone should ask about whatever i found please have them call me. Of course I didnt say every detail of what I found so that if someone did call I could ask them to desribe it. Then you know if it really was them who lost it. That works for me and leaves me feeling I could have it knowing I did all I could in that situation.
Hope that helps.
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