Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Doin' the Mall Walk

OK I admit it, I'm a mall walker and at the moment I'm love'n it. For years I've had a love hate relationship with my gym. Sure it's great when I first join, but after a few months I get bored of running and climbing to nowhere. Fortunately I live near a mall where walking is serious business. When I first decided to take on the sport, I was at a cross road with my gym... to renew or not to renew. Fed up with the high cost and having to rush to get the best stair machine. Or elbowing my way into an over crowded aerobic class, I decided to give it a try. Alternating the walking with a weight and pilates regimen at home, would balance out nicely. By the way, I'm actually texting this article while speed walking. Don't get me wrong. I wasn't always such a confident mall walker. At first I was convinced I would be the youngest walker by far. When I arrived, not only were there walkers younger than I, but also I got a vibe that there existed some kind of unspoken mall walking etiquette. Every one was walking uniformly in the same direction. I quickly fell into line and walked counter clockwise, learning to pass the slow pokes with courtesy. After a couple of days I found that I started getting a kink in my neck and didn't know why. I soon discovered that as I walk, my head is turned in one direction the entire time. Why, you say? Window-shopping of course! For the entire hour that it takes to complete my 3-mile tour, 3 times upstairs and 3 times downstairs, my head had been facing the store windows. For the sake of my health and my window-shopping fun, something had to be done! I had to break the unspoken law and walk in the opposite direction, if only for half the time. 

On my way home that day I was filled with insecurities. Do I dare? What will they think of me? Was I allowed? I got myself into such a tizzy that I actually stopped into the mall office and foolishly asked about the etiquette of mall walking. It's one thing to break an unspoken law, but I wanted to make sure it wasn't an official rule.  The guy at the desk assured me, with a smile (actually it was more of a muffled laugh), that no such law exists. In fact the mall doesn't even promote the activity. The doors open two hours before the stores open and the walkers' pile in. Confident in with my decision, I set out in a clockwise direction. Sure I got stared down and nearly knocked down. The grey haired ladies looked especially appalled, scared even. There was a Puerto Rican rebel in the house. I admit it took a little getting use to, maybe 5 minutes, but now I'm as confident as ever. So next time your in the mall, keep an eye out for the crazy Puerto Rican blogging as she speed walks in the opposite direction.

Sent from my iPhone

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Chandelier in the elevator


I recently took a weekend trip with my sister Sally to the El San Juan Hotel & Casino in Puerto Rico. It's a beautiful 4 star hotel filled with lots cherry wood walls & molding. It also has many multifaceted chandeliers, even in the elevators.
One morning Sally and I were having a friendly conversation with some hotel guests while riding the elevator, when a thought occurred to me. There is something that happens every time we are suspended in an elevator with complete strangers. For that brief moment in time we all share a common goal, going up or going down. Each time we ride, the dynamic of personalities are a complete random collection. And for those who want to conduct an experiment they are a captured audience!
So Sally looks up, points to the chandelier and asks, "I wonder how the chandeliers get cleaned?" To our surprise the strangers began sharing their thoughts on the subject! We got such a kick at the diversity of the answers that we decided to ask every chance we got. Later, while reviewing the responses, we realized that this totally innocent question opened a window reflecting each passengers personalities, or maybe we had one too many mojitos and just wanted to have some fun.

Here are some of the responses and our amateur analogies:

Guy with girl - "Maybe they use a q-tip"
Personality trait - Detail oriented with really clean ears.

Girl with guy - "Maybe they dip it in vodka"
Personality trait - Drinking is a priority; shiny things that sparkle remind her of vodka on the rocks.

Single man - "Maybe they throw it away and replace it with a new one"
Personality trait - Not good with economy or ecology; wasteful; doesn't believe in recycling (or just came off a bad date).

Guy with girl - "Maybe they have more than one and replace the dirty one with a clean one while the other one soaks"
Personality trait - This guy's a catch! Knows how to save time; is very productive (and he was cute too!).

Girl with guy - "They use a blow dryer"
Personality trait - Has good hair; never cleaned a thing in her life.

Well, maybe you had to be there, but I hope you enjoyed our little experiment as much as we did. Next time you find yourself in an elevator take the opportunity to conduct your own experiment. Why you say... Why not?